It happened again. Driving along in the predawn darkness on my way to the coffee shop, there it came.
As I often do when driving alone, I was speaking aloud my heart, my concerns, picturing Jesus Himself in the seat to the right. Thinking, thinking, praying...
Here and there went my thoughts, from this to that to the other thing, telling Him, the One who knew. Briefly, they landed on the sore, the thorn I'd picked up the other day when I ran across her blog. I'd done the one thing I ought not - I'd compared. Mine to hers, hers to mine, and I'd come up small. In nearly every way.
On raced my thoughts, praying once more to love Him more, to know for sure His love for me, before landing briefly on the tight, small place in which I find myself now. And then it came.
"Embrace the smallness. Embrace the stillness." It was His voice. Not audible to the listening ear, perhaps, but ringing clear and true to the ears of my heart.
"One day, you, too, will be greatly used. But for now, embrace these two." So gentle, so loving was the Voice that my troubled spirit quieted with a simple, "Yes, Lord."
Settled, finally, at my favorite table, the corner one with the lamp, coffee in hand, I opened the Word. Then, before starting the column, I turned to my other source of daily bread, "God Calling." And heard again His voice:
"The joy of meeting Me should more and more fill your (life). Your (life) must first of all be narrowed down more and more, into an inner circle life with Me, and then, as that friendship becomes more and more engrossing, more and more binding, then, gradually, the circle of your interests will widen.
"For the present, do not think of it as a narrow life. I have My purpose, My loving purpose, in cutting you away from other work and interests for the time. When (you have) gained strength and learned (your) lessons in the inner circle, it (will then) widen, working this time from within, out, taking to each contact, each friendship, the inner circle influence. And this is to be your way of life."
Inner-circle life. Inner-circle influence. If that's what I desire, then I must embrace the smallness, the stillness of today. During this time of relative solitude, of "smallness" in many ways, He and I are becoming friends. I am learning to trust Him more. Learning to love Him more.
And the rest? Well, that's up to Him. For now, I'm embracing today; embracing Jesus, and finding, in the end, that He is really all I need.
And just today, I found others sharing stories at "Chatting at the Sky," Tuesdays Unwrapped. Happy to link, too.
8 comments:
You just shared what was in my heart this morning as well. It is more important to be IN Christ than to have some great accomplishment and ask Christ to bless it. I've been learning how important it is for Christ to work from the inside out rather than having Christ work from the outside in.
Just want to encourage you to keep on one day at a time and follow His calling, rather than looking around you to what you may be able to grasp. He will bring it to you in a marvelous way if you stay focus on Him, and Him alone.
Praying for you and me, both as we submit to our calling!
Love -
Evelyn
meeting with him... our desire in Him... satisfied in Him....this is the secret to each day, each moment, each breath
so glad for your friendship through blogland
Oh Rhonda, don't compare yourself or your blog to anyone else. You are uniquely you and you have touched and blessed so many people. Continue to seek Him and follow His calling and you will be used in mighty ways.
Love and blessings.
Wow, Rhonda, this is powerful stuff, and certainly not merely a coincidence that your prayer on the way to the coffee shop prepared you for what you'd read there. God is so amazing. Gives me goose-bumps.
Hugs,
Linda
Thank you, Evelyn. It's very difficult to sit still when there's so much I want to do, but this really helped me to come to a peace about it. And that's huge for me.
FisherLady, you're right. It reminds me of the verse that says "seek ye first the kingdom of God...and all these things shall be added." That's my ongoing challenge.
Thank you, too, Barb, for your encouragement. The whole comparison game is deadly and will likely be a blog post here just shortly. I hate it, but it's almost irresistible.
Linda, I agree 100% - it was no coincidence. And whenever the Holy Spirit does that kind of thing, it bolsters my faith tremendously. That's partly how I've learned to know the Voice. Which, of course, would be a whole series of blog posts...:)
I have no idea what the title of this old song is, but I remember the chorus well:
Not what I wish to be,
Nor where I wish to go.
For who am I that I should choose my way?
The Lord shall choose for me.
'Tis better far I know.l
So let Him bid me go...or stay.
You're right! Comparison is defeating (and deadly). So, I have come to believe, is "what I wish to be".
My part? To delight in Him. Nothing more. His? To choose. To bid.
So sweet to find you here. I grew up in Kansas..and went to Sterling College as a journalism major. I used to serve coffee at my parents' deli to a lovely Mr. Shrock--a man devoted to his wife.
As for what you wrote, I'm glad you shared because that word wasn't just for you. There is room for us all at His table.
In your honesty you have written about what most, if not all, of us feel at times. Yes, we are to embrace the smallness and the stillness. It is a struggle, I must admit. Yet we are all unique and with our own purpose from God.
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